The following was sent by vkilla at You Dont Have Cats, Do You? An older joke, but no less relevant.

Corporate Job Descriptions


Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a locomotive
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Gives Policy to God

Project Manager

Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on water if sea is calm
Talks to God

Senior Analyst

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Talks with God if special permission is approved

Systems Analyst

Barely clears a Quonset hut
Loses tug of war with a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God

Programmer Analyst

Makes high marks on walls when trying to leap tall buildings
Is run over by locomotives
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Calls swimming “Staying Alive In The Water”
Talks to animals


Runs into buildings
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life jacket
Talks to walls
Barks at the moon

Project Clerk

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter building
Says look at the choo-choo
Wets himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

Executive Secretary

Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks locomotives off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
She is god!